F*ck Submission.

Submission is one of religion’s sharpest tools. You’ll hear for days about how women should submit their husbands, women are supposed to submit to authority, men as “heads of household” are supposed to submit to pastors and the government “because those officials have been appointed by God” etc., etc. There are many Christian lifestyle books written on submission, and I’ve read quite a few. I spent a lot of time and energy trying to figure out how to tone down my spirit and stop asserting myself over my husband (who told me multiple times he didn’t want to be in charge, btw).

Eventually, I stopped forcing myself into a role that didn’t fit my personality, and started asking questions about a shade of religion that would ask me to “tone it down", which isn’t anything Jesus ever asks of us.

This kind of thinking puts so many (already vulnerable) populations at risk. This means people put in position above everyone else have the authority to have the final say on what happens to them. This isn’t okay. One of the hardest things to deconstruct after leaving a faith or while questioning of faith is personal agency. Can you think of a time when you experienced this?